Wisdumb: Smart and Not-So-Smart

I, along with most of America, saw The Dark Knight this weekend. Although I am not raving about it as much as everyone else seems to be, I did like it quite a bit. My biggest complaint was that the fight sequences weren’t nearly as good as Batman Begins. TDK had very fast fight edits that were too close-up and just generally not as impressive as I would have liked.

Anyway, the point of this post isn’t my review… it is my [with no factual basis or insider knowledge] conjecture that Mr. Nolan may have teased us with the future Boy Wonder. Since much of the Batman mythology has been altered anyway, I think the seemingly long screen time of James Gordon Jr. may in fact suggest that instead of Gordon’s daughter becoming Batgirl, we might be getting his son as the new Robin. Whether Nathan Gamble (the kid who played him) gets to actually be Robin, I doubt, but it seemed to me that the young James Jr. got more screen time than was needed and the fact that he sees Batman hiding in the shadows is more significant than than might appear.

What do you think? I only put this down because I want it documented if it turns out I am right. And so far, I haven’t read anywhere anything like this, so I want credit for being the first to suggest it.

I claimed a “whole new magic” of printing technology was coming, and here it is.

A video review can be found here– I cannot find any USA video on it yet.

Anyway, I expect this to be very hot technology and I can’t believe they didn’t introduce this before Christmas. I am already checking Polaroid (PRD) stock prices.

Well, my predictions were pretty good. I called Mike Super as the winner, and I was right. I said I thought Eran would be the one to go, and he was, but he went out in third place, not fourth… so I was close, but not correct.

Well, I called the three that were safe and the two that weren’t in my last post… except for the twist were Guy got saved. After tonight’s performances, I hope Angela gets the boot (she made a mistake, it took way too long, the climax used a fairly well known gimmick [actually explained in a Penn&Teller book] and I agreed with Chris Angel’s assessment that she didn’t connect to the audience), but I bet she squeaks by again. I also thought Eran’s performance was pretty weak (especially compared to a much better version of the same concept done by Derren Brown). So, I predict he is the one to go, and if not him, then Angela. Mike’s performance should make him a lock for moving on, and I think Guy’s performance, unfortunately, will amaze the type of person who actually votes on these type of shows. I say unfortunate because, come on already, enough with the bending of cutlery.

Anyway, I predict, and hope, the Mike Super becomes the next phenom.

BTW, I thought Gerry’s performance was his best one… though I don’t think he described the ending part with the audience very accurately and the show shouldn’t let these guys get away with that type of thing.

I am just guessing because I haven’t seen the entire work, but based on the trailers I have seen, the new Alvin and the Chimpmunks movie is going to create a shortage of seeing-eye dogs. Why? because hordes and hordes of fathers who were forced, tricked or just unkowingly agreed to go see this movie will rip the eyes out of their heads within a few minutes of viewing in an attempt to make the pain go away. What they won’t realize though, is that the absence of light they seek will not be nearly enough of a buffer to push the pain away as they will still be attacked by the hideous chimpmunk voices…

What’s with the voices anyway? Back in the day, singing on slowed down tape and playing it back at normal speed was a high-tech trick and it made sense (sort of) that it wowed the masses listening to the radio or off a vinyl LP. But come on, how is this crappy novelty of a gimmick still appealing?

Anyway, fathers, you have been warned. Now, a warning to the mothers who watch the trailer and utter something along the lines of, “Ooh, how cute! I bet Johnny and Suzi would love this movie.” I urge you to overcome that urge and ask you to note the ending of the teaser trailer… if you want to see someone put shit in his mouth, go rent Pink Flamingos. And if you really want to treat your children to fart jokes, go watch my tribute film instead.

Here are my predictions for some of the new TV shows that are about to debut. If I didn’t mention a show, it is because I didn’t feel I had enough to go on based on the little I have seen from the commercials or previews. Please note that I have not received any advance screenings of these shows. These are purely my opinions based the commercials or online previews I have seen.

Shows that will do poorly or outright fail (*likely not last a full season)

• Caveman*
• Carpoolers*
• Cane
• Kid Nation
• Moonlight*
• Viva Laughlin*
• Big Shots
• The Return to Jezebel
• Lipstick Jungle
• Dirty Sexy Money
• Gossip Girl

Shows that will do well

• K-Ville
• Back to You
• The Rules for Starting Over
• Private Practice
• Bionic Woman

UPDATE: 9/27/07
I am off to a pretty good start on the above predictions, though it is still too early to tell. Private Practice and Bionic Woman both did very well, and K-Ville and Back to You were both top 20 shows for the week. Unfortunately, Kid Nation was also a top 20 show, but I bet that was just a curiosity factor and will quickly tank. Anyway, in a few weeks, I will re-visit this and see what’s what.

This post will be a running update of all of my predictions. The stats so far are:

Total # of predictions: 3
Correct predictions: 2
Incorrect predictions: 0
Jury still out: 1

Itemized predictions:

• Anchorwoman - correct
• Van Halen 3.5 tour - unknown
• Jane Austen Book Club - correct

This will be my first of many TV show predictions…

Only going by the commercials I’ve seen and what can be found on it’s official website, Anchorwoman, I predict this show will be a huge failure and won’t make it a full season. It’ll likely get decent to big numbers its first week (based purely on the “hot chick”), but it will quickly tank.

I say this because it appears to me that the show will be entirely too staged. The idea of a reality show isn’t such a bad concept. Many people dismiss them out-of-hand. And based on how crappy most of them have been, they have good reason. But, if a reality show was an actual voyeuristic and unbiased look into people’s lives, it could be intriguing. They go bad though when the producers can’t keep out of it. All the fake set-ups, bullshit tricks and contrived /calculated groupings of people ruin the concept of what reality TV was conceived to be.

Anyway, I believe Anchorwoman has disaster written all over it.

UPDATE: Score one for me… check out this Variety.com article. (8/23/07)

Ok, here’s the deal. I am a huge fan of the original Van Halen. This would be the band with David Lee Roth at its front. To me, the band was mostly about Dave. Even with the brilliance of Eddie on guitar, I was primarily a fan of the band because of Dave (who Dimebag Darrell once referred to as the baddest front man ever in rock ‘n roll). When Sammy took the reins, my interest in the band dropped. I don’t blame Sammy. I don’t even dislike like him. In fact, I was already a fan of his because of Montrose (a band famous to those of us of a certain age…), though I didn’t care all that much about his solo work before VH.

Anyway, back to Dave. I am also a huge fan of Dave’s solo stuff… at least up until the recent bluegrass record (which I can’t really comment on as I haven’t heard any of it except for what he performed on the Tonight Show which I thought was mediocre at best). I think Dave’s videos were all amazing and that he never got the credit he deserved for them. I loved DaveTV and everything he did with MTV. I also loved his performances on radio with Howard Stern. However, I can’t speak to his short-lived stint as Howard’s replacement as I didn’t get to hear it in Chicago.

Now that my love of Dave is understood by all, let me tell you that I saw Dave a couple of years ago at a fairly big local festival. As local festivals go, this is as big as they get in the Chicagoland area… but, it was still a local festival show. On one hand,  this is admirable as he is still rockin’ and making a living as a musician, but on the other hand, it is kind of sad from a “Oh how the mighty have fallen” point-of-view.

Well, the show was ok. It wasn’t brilliant, but it certainly didn’t suck and based on that performance, there is no reason to think the new Van Halen with Dave back at it’s helm would be terrible or anything as a result. However, I am completely afraid that the new Van Halen with Dave back at it’s helm is going to be terrible. I hope I am wrong. I want to be wrong. However, my prediction is that it won’t really work. In fact, I’d be surprised if they complete the tour.

BTW, in case you were wondering, I refer to this incarnation as VH 3.5 because version one is the original line-up. V2 is with Sammy. V3 is with Gary Cherone (who I think was unjustly and quite harshly criticized … it was a no-win situation for anyone who might have taken the role as new singer and the fact that the record sucked I blame fully on Eddie and not Gary).  This version could be considered V4 with Wolfgang taking Michael Anthony’s place, but I don’t think it qualifies. If they last for more than a year, then I’ll bump them up to V4.

The Jane Austen Book Club is a movie coming later in the fall. It is backed by a major studio, has a big time cast (with a bunch of young Hollywood up-and-comers plus Maria Bello who is great and Nancy Travis who I haven’t seen much of since her starring role in the quite brilliant So I Married an Axe Murderer) , it has its own official website, it has a myspace page and it even has its own contest.

You would think with all of that going on, the movie would be poised for huge success. However, can what might be the paramount (that’s with a small ‘p’ - not the studio) of all chick-flicks make any dough? I predict no. Maybe it will make some money overseas, but here in the U.S., I am ashamed to say I doubt it.

I’d be surprised if it opens at $3M, which is what Emma, a movie based on a Jane Austen novel starring Gwyneth Paltrow, did in wide release.

UPDATE: I completely nailed this one… $3,573,870 was its total after 13 weeks of business. It only opened at $400,666.