Wisdumb: Smart and Not-So-Smart

A current teaser trailer for the new G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra movie features the song American Badass by Kid Rock - at least on TV. However, the spot cuts off the syllable ‘ass’ and this is how the clip ends. SO, a movie about American heroes that I believe the producers hope will make all Americans stand up and shout things like “America is the greatest country on earth!” ends with these words: I am American Bad. I think this qualifies as an Epic Fail [link to my favorite].

Below is a clip of the spot - except they must not have Internet rights for the song because they aren’t using it at all in this video:

Here is a clip of a movie I think of everytime I see the G.I. Joe commercials:

[editor’s note: the tag of wise is only in reference to the Team America World Police song]

Back in my youth when I used to share an apartment, I remember overhearing a fight between my room mate and his girlfriend of the time who often spent the weekend. She was complaining about the grocery bill, and in particular about how much money he spent on toilet paper. She asked him, “Why do you go through so much toilet paper every week?” His loud and angry answer was,  “Because I don’t want my hand to smell like shit!”

Well, technology and genius of invention have finally come together to solve his problem (albeit, 15 years too late). This video and blog post are dedicated to him, who I shall only refer to by his initials: M.S.

Hilarious.

Nod: Big Fat Whale

This is hilarious!

This video makes me think of that amazing American Pscyho scene:

If he said he likes robots instead of turtles, this could have been the greatest video ever!

All I can say is “wow.” The religious blinders are screwed on incredibly tight on this one:

What if ‘The Watchmen’ were a Saturday morning cartoon produced in the 80s? That is what Harry Partridge wondered - and showed us. CHECK IT OUT. Simply perfect!

I don’t know that Peter Schiff is right about everything he says (in fact, I believe his gold prediction never quite got where he said it was going), but I do know almost everything Ben Stein and Art Laffer said was wrong. Ben Stein in particular - what a douche bag. “You’re simply wrong, you’re simply wrong about that” he tells Peter in regards to the housing lending market. What an ass. I think I have to give him the biggest douche award that I have previously given to Chris Angel.

Just to add some insult to Mr. Stein, here is how his movie (Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed) did against Bill Maher’s Religulous (according to Box Office Mojo as of today’s date):

Ben’s movie came out first, played in twice as many theaters and made half as much money. Loser!

My wife has suggested to me that my position on Valentine’s Day being only for couples who date and not for married couples is incorrect. As such, I must consider doing something to honor this ‘holiday.’ Luckily, I found this movie which opens on VD:

I imagine the developer’s pitch went something like this:

Songsmith Creator: Do you know how everybody just loves that Muzak elevator music? Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could just blather anything you want and some Muzak was automatically created to go along with it?

Microsoft Product Manager: Wow, that sounds amazing! Could you add some nearly useless slider controls that make marginal changes to the music so completely talentless people could feel they were somehow creative?

Songsmith Creator: You betcha!